A little background first.
Those that might have seen me drunk at a party might have heard my hammertime spiel. You see, back in the 90’s in the song “You can’t touch this”, Mc Hammer said “Stop… hammer time” at no point after that did he say “ok, stop again, it’s no longer hammer time”. This is the crux of the problem –ever since, we’ve been living in hammer time. So, I resolved that if I ever saw Mc. Hammer, that I would ask him to please rescind hammer time so we could get back to normal time. I know, we’ve all made sacrifices to live in hammer time all these years, so it’s really the least I could do.
I’m at work today, talking with our biz-dev person, Jessica when Carlee our receptionist comes in. “Jessica”, she says, “Mc Hammer is here for your meeting”. I looked at Carlee, and told her to come back and get me when Ace of Base was here, but it quickly dawned on me that Carlee was serious. Seconds later, Jessica went to retrieve Mc Hammer from the lobby. She also specifically forbade me from asking him to rescind hammer time.
So, I go back to my desk, and Mc Hammer walks down the row to a meeting with Jessica. She’s in there for an hour, which made me think things were going well. So, I started coming up with interview questions. Here’s my contribution:
How would you rate yourself on a scale of one to ten, one being “Totally illegitimate and should quit” and ten being “Too legit to quit”?
Then I had the idea to quickly print out some signs that said “Stop Hammer time!” and picket outside of the meeting. Sadly this was rejected as being insane. I thought it was funny.
Later, I caught Mr. Hammer leaving, and I cursed myself for not asking him to stop hammer time. Sometimes, I suck. Sorry about that world, you’ll just have to go on living in hammer time. Set your clocks accordingly.
